It was in my first job and perhaps the first negotiation I was invited to observe. And what a negotiation it was: red faces, shouting, throwing contracts on the floor, insults… Apparently, this was all part of the show. I remember thinking, how will this ever lead to an outcome that works for all?
To my surprise the negotiators calmed down towards the end of the meeting and were able to hash out an agreement, using the information gathered during the meeting.
When you see two people negotiating intensely, do you wonder if they’re building a relationship or tearing one apart? Many believe that avoiding all conflicts during a negotiation is essential. But what if the real issue isn’t conflict itself but rather the avoidance of it?
Conflict isn’t destructive by nature. It can be a catalyst for building relationships based on respect. The key is to approach conflict as an opportunity for learning and discovery. After all, you want to understand your counterpart’s world.
Once you know your counterpart’s world, you can use the knowledge to create sustainable solutions. By knowing, understanding and prioritising their needs, you also create a space where decisions will be made.
How do you get the information required to understand their world? Gather insights by asking open-ended, thought-provoking questions. These questions unlock the necessary information to build sustainable agreements. Even if they risk conflict, they’re essential to get the best possible outcomes.
Avoiding difficult conversations means missing valuable information and failing to understand the other party’s world. Which in turn will lead to missed opportunities and sub-optimal outcomes.
Being open and honest cultivates trust and forges lasting relationships. Risking conflict without honesty is dangerous, so stand up and seek transparency. In a world where manipulation is often mistaken for strength, transparency stands out as the ultimate differentiator.
Looking for an easy way to become a better negotiator? We have the solution: the Sound Negotiator Assistant. It is available in the Google Play and App Store. 🚀
Get in touch with us so that we can find out where you are going as a negotiator, team or company. We would like to find out what we can do for you if we decide to collaborate.
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